Appreciating Peace

Well, it's been a pretty busy week here at HC. I've had very little spare time, and a lot on my mind.

Last night we had a Philharmonia concert, where we played all "northern" music. That meaning Sibelius, Grieg, Tviett, and a few lesser known Nordic (or American) composers. It was a blast, and the audience was quite receptive to us. There was something about it that excited me and cheered me up vastly. Perhaps it was the very "northern-ness" of the music, as Lewis might say, which appealed to me. It was like journeying home through the sounds which we played.

It reminded me of high, snow-capped mountains. Of chill, frosty winds blowing over the stark pines and whipping through my hair on a long February walk. It made me think back to last year, on my walks along the frozen beach while Redoubt threatened to blow. Of hot cups of tea, cardamom cookies and Reading Lolita in Tehran.

I can make myself some tea here, and eat cardamom cookies while reading similar books. But it's not the same as when I did so at home. There are no frozen beaches, no rumbling volcanoes. Not too many pines, and my hair is rarely teased by the wind here. And I may have mentioned before that New York doesn't have mountains.

But there is a peculiar beauty here. Sometimes I see it in the sunrises, when the sun decides to grace us with his presence. Sometimes, I see it in the shadows in the trees, as they slumber in the biting cold of winter. Usually, I see it at Mount Irenaeus, with the birds, the trees, the pond, the snows, the gardens, the buildings. I want to just stay there and meditate on the Scriptures and the chants and the homilies. But it's rather like I was once told in a teaching on spiritual highs, or mountain-top experiences. We can't live there, or we'll do nothing with our faith. We have to come down from the mountain and live and bring others to those experiences. Otherwise, we burn out. I'm pretty sure that if I lived at Mount Irenaeus and just spent all my days enjoying the peace, I'd soon lose the ability to appreciate that peace. I need the peace because of all that goes on in my week, and at present, staying there and deciding to do nothing else but sit and wallow in that peace would mean that I would stop living.

So right now, I'm just trying to take each day as it comes, living purposefully. I want to enjoy the time I have here in New York, see the beauty, and remember that which I love and left behind me. And even realising that gives me more peace.