Reflections on the Te Deum

Yesterday, after spending a large chunk of my day reading a wonderful book that my brother lent me called Catholic For A Reason I: Scripture and the Mystery of the Family of God, I went online and was really wanting to listen to some liturgical music.

For years, I've liked the sound of sacred music, especially choral chants. In the past year, I've come to enjoy this type of music even more. In the Lutheran church that I've spent about half my life in, we sing quasi-traditional hymns most of the time, and being a pianist, I played the liturgical music when at home, since the melody line was usually included in the front of our personal hymnals. Last autumn, when I went to HC, I spent the first few weeks visiting various churches, and searching for where God was leading me.

Then I went to the Catholic church one Sunday in mid October, and heard the beautiful liturgical service that was not present in the other churches I'd been to. I fell in love. I went back to my dorm singing snatches of the choral music. Immediately, I compiled a music playlist of sacred music, with the emphasis on Gregorian style chants.

Yesterday, I typed in "Gregorian chants" and it turned up one of my favourites: the Te Deum.



There is such beauty and peace in this song, I can't believe I'd gone months without listening to it. Te Deum was sung before the start of that service in October that I remember so well- they were rehearsing for the next week's service at a monastery nearby and I only hear it because I was the first person to arrive that morning and had been dropped off early. It reminds me of why I kept going to the Catholic church: it was calling me. I attended every Sunday until I went to my grandparents' home in December. January and February, I spent the majority of the daylight hours of every Sunday at Mount Irenaeus, the Franciscan monastery that was about 50 minutes away. Here, it was not just the beautiful liturgy that drew me, but the peace, beauty and simplicity.

Since I've come back to Alaska, I've made it to Mass nearly every week, which worked out well with my work schedule most of the time. And again, I find beauty and joy in the liturgy, in the peaceful music that fills my soul with praise for God.

When I hear it, I can see the stained glass in Fillmore, feel the smooth wooden kneeler under my knees, and smell the sweet incense that burned in the hangers by each of the four windows on each side of the aisles. I can see the Franciscans in their brown habits as they prayed for each of us, feel the linen cushions on the polished wood floors that we sat upon, and see the frosted woods that I came to love as I walked through them every Sunday when it was time to go the the Chapel.

I have a year of beautiful memories tied to this piece of music. It reminds me to be still. It reminds me to pray. It reminds me to accept peace and grace. And this was all before I knew what the words meant. So, now I pray that this prayer may quiet you, and give you peace.